Thursday, April 11, 2019

100th Post on Blogger

I don't know if this really is an achievement, but then I'd like to believe so.

I'm writing my 100th post on Blogger!

Well, this should have happened long back but I was in a turmoil. Yes, I changed my job and I'm not into human resources anymore. This is a big change and one that made me very anxious and a bit stressed. The role that I took up is as 'Instructional Designer' a.k.a ID, which I've never heard of before. It all started off in the interview wherein I just felt I didn't perform well at all and came out crying, literally. I don't know why but later they gave me an assignment and I wasn't even sure of getting selected even then.

To be honest I had mixed feelings. I resigned at my old company without any job offers in hand, I desperately needed a job and I had like two months to get that. I had interview at my current company and also at another one, but I chose the first company because it was giving me an opportunity to do something different. Hence, it was my conscious decision to take it up and try my hand at it.

I'm not really aware of who all read my blog and if anyone out there really cares about it. But if you've been reading my posts, even randomly, you could see that I'm an impulsive being and gets excited for everything that is unique. Getting to work as an ID, though impulsive in a way serves me well. I'm learning a lot and I could also see that I got to be really humble.

Why humble? because hitherto I felt I know something, if not everything. And after starting out as an ID I realized that whatever I felt I know turned out to be just nothing. Absolutely nothing! I'm glad that this myth is broken, and I got to admit it that it isn't a nice feeling at all. I was so proud when I got this job, wherein I fantasized being amazing at it but I really suck at it.

It's a lesson learnt. And today when, I opened a book 'The Daily Stoic' on my phone and went straight to today's date: 11th April, it said "If you want to learn, be humble". It's as if everything is trying to teach me to be open about learning and learning not for the heck of it but to really be in a meditative state when I do that. Added to all these changes in my life, I began my driving classes and it has been good so far, though at one point my mom yelled at me for wasting money.

I wasn't wasting their money at all. I spent a part of my salary on myself, I know that these are the tactics and I need to save myself from it but at the end of the day a part of me cried. I had to vent out the frustration and contemplated a little on how things would be if I were not alive. I really am going through a low phase right now, I got to look at the brighter side of the things.

I'm grateful for:

My smile
My job
My courage to go on even when everything seems to fall apart

This life is my tutor and I am eternally blessed. I shall blog more as now writing is a crucial part of my job and as my boss suggested I really need to get my writing style in place.

I took an initiative to write this blog more for myself than for any one out there but I could see that people are reading it and are also heading onto another one which is linked to the same profile, and displays the paintings that I did.

Thanks for all the views. I'd definitely keep up my writing habit.