Wednesday, July 12, 2017

A Telugu Poem from the depths of my heart

నీ కౌగిలిలో కలిసిపోవాలనే కోరికతో వచ్చాను కాదంటావా ప్రియతమా?

కాసింత దెగ్గరకు రానీయవ నా  ప్రియతమా?

నా కౌగిలి గుడిలో నీ ఒక్కరికే ప్రవేశం,

మరి నీ యదలో నా స్తానం?

చెప్పాలని ఎంతో ఉన్నా చెప్పలేని నా చేతగానితనాన్ని

నువ్వు నీ చేతులారా చేరదీస్తావా?

నీ చెంత చేరి నా చిరునవ్వు మురిసె

మనసు మల్లె మొగ్గ అయ్యి విరిసె.


©Suchitra2017

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Reading a lot of Ruskin Bond

At British Council library when I was browsing through books and wondering what I should pick, my eyes fell on the new editions of Ruskin Bond books. I instantly became so greedy, one thing I indulge without any regrets is reading because books have their own magical way to help you go through life.

A Town called Dehra, Scene's from a Writer's life, The Room on the Roof and Dust on the mountains: collected stories were my choices. I have complete the first three and I'm now juggling between Rabindranath Tagore's Gora and this huge short story collection of Mr. Ruskin. 

There is one short story of Mr. Ruskin that I read now and again. It is found in a book called 'Stories Short and Sweet', the title is 'The Overcoat'. It is one of the most loveliest stories that I ever read. No matter how many times I read it, at the end my mind becomes a wanderer and my body covered with goose-pimples. 

Sadly I didn't find 'The Overcoat' in this humongous collection of stories by Mr. Ruskin. I don't know how someone can forget to include it, that's indeed for me is very disappointing. 

By reading bond's life I could relate myself well with his loneliness in childhood, his problem with pimples, looking at his parents matrimony suffer and his father's death. I did feel a little jealous about the beautiful relationship he had with his father. I lack that in my life somehow, so I yearn it and make faces when someone has got that right in their life.

Coming to my life, the early phase was full of wonder and oblivion. I had mostly overlooked the tensions between my parents and was lost in the little happiness of watching animals, drawing etc. But I knew deep down that something was amiss, the lack of communication with my father made its presence felt when I saw my friend's fathers giving them their undivided attention.

It shaped me. The way I am now, not able to respect him is a pattern that has been set on the day I was born and has not became irreversible. Do I want to change anything? Yes.

I want to move on and see the brighter side of life. The days when I'm happy and think about writing my experience with the velvety spiders in the matchbox that my classmates used to bring in the monsoon season and how curiously I looked at them. Eyes alight and mouth gaping, never once thinking about what I do not have in life.

Pic from Google

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Half of the year has gone by

It's been five months I am out of my regular full time job and what has come out of it? 

Six months are completed in this year and what I've achieved? 

These were the questions that wouldn't let me sleep peacefully at night. The only thing that scares me the most is my inaction...

But on the brighter side, I can now tell that I'll be completing three months of internship as a content writer at the end of this month. Yesterday I took my first virtual class for seventh graders as a part of the volunteer work that I've signed up for and though there were technical glitches, power outages I did manage to teach them something worthwhile.

The internet is crappy on my side I had most of the time trouble listening to them. I've been contemplating to get a broadband connection but alas I'm not in a position to afford one as my earnings are nil. The internship that I'm doing is unpaid, even the work that I'm doing for my ex-employer is not fetching me a handsome sum just something to get by.

But my writing is going downwards. I don't know if writing is something that I can do nicely, when my expressions are silly not making an impact the insecurities creep in and suffocate me. It's hard to think of myself as a writer in the making. At times I cannot properly express my feelings in words and that is what reflecting in my writing as well. 

Trying to be very strong in this period is easier said than done.