Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Suchitra V/s Chirutsa

It was in the beginning when I was contemplating about starting a blog that I felt I should have a pen name. Something like a shell that could protect me from people who are reading my thoughts via my written word, and that's how I coined the word 'Chirutsa'.

'Chirutsa' is an anagram of my name 'Suchitra' and there were so many other names that I could coin from my real name! But I chose this because:

1. It sounded neutral. Not giving any hint about my gender.
2. I thought it is keeping my real name hidden but at the same time connected to it.

Then this happened:

 http://madavikutty-readerspost.blogspot.in/2015/06/random-poems-by-suchithra.html

It's a blog dedicated to Kamala Das, whose autobiography I read in my last year of Bachelor's degree. The Librarian didn't lend it to me on my library card so had to sit in the library after college to read it. I just felt an instant connection with the author and got to know more about her life through her autobiography at the same time some information that I found on the internet.

I found this blog dedicated to her and the respective author, who started it was asking for some poetry entries to be published onto the blog. And I sent mine without expecting anything, because I saw them being published few months later when I was checking out the blogs that I follow.

When it was mentioned as 'Chirutsa' I felt good but at the same time a bit suffocated that my original na'ME' is missing. I quickly changed my blogger profile name to reflect my original name, I realised I don't need a pen name at all. It was just like that first infatuation that fades away.

Is Chirutsa still there? I think so. But Suchitra for now and ever will do.

©Suchitra- 2016